Hidden

So I feel trapped. I feel hidden. I mean, I can't write what I want or say what I want because someone someplace may get offended. Then if they do, instead of addressing the issue with me, they take it up with someone else. Then what happens? Well let me tell you. We then have a generalized email/message/talk about watch what is said because well it may offend someone. All over 1 word. All because 1 person and maybe more than 1 person took offense to something they saw/read/heard. The thing is they never questioned me. I am going to use me in this scenario because I am guessing that I am the issue. Here is the thing. I am a single black female. I have a black son. I have police officers as friends. I support Black Lives Matter. I'm not violent. I don't want people killed for speaking their mind. I don't want people killed for protecting (perhaps? although I was told that is not an officer's job) and serving us. I don't want people killed. I want understanding. I want us, as a whole, to talk and communicate. Have we not learned that lack of communication seems to be an issue that continues to go on and on? Communication can help. (Although in a personal case of mine it doesn't.) Here is the thing for communication to help and work: Both sides have to try and be committed to making it work.
Let's go back to my statement...I support Black Lives Matter. I am saying Black Lives Matter too. I don't have to say All Lives Matter because you as a person are seen as a whole. There was a time very recently I would have only been seen as 2/3 of a person. I can't even be seen as a whole person. Why? The color of my skin. I am black. I am beautiful. I am an ebony queen that will continue to work hard and rise up to face a new day. I overcome challenges and struggles. Black Lives Matter to me. Have you seen the news? Yes, I know the media loves to show the negatives. They continue to show police officers killing unarmed black men. They do not show police officers killing unarmed latinos or unarmed whites. Then, the media shows mentally ill black men killing police officers. Let me stop there. I used the word kill because in these cases it could come back justifiable homicide. I don't want to offend any more people by saying murder so I won't say that anyone was murdered. They all lost his or her life. Unfortunate. The mentally ill black men killed officers. Yes, they are mentally ill because you can't be all there if that is what you set out to do. Although people will have an issue that I've called them mentally ill and did not use a stronger word for what they did. They killed. Just like when it isn't a black man but a lighter pigmented man that kills people and they classify him as mentally ill. These men were mentally ill.
I support Black Lives Matter because they are not for the violence. They could easily say "An eye for an eye..."but they don't. They know violence is not the answer. They want peaceful protests. They want a voice to be heard. They want people to know that it is unfair. When police tell a man to put his hands up and he does, then why is he still shot? You don't know is not an acceptable answer. In fact, there is not one. At that moment, he is complying and you can see there are no weapons. Yes, more white people/men are killed by officers on a yearly basis than blacks but if you break down the numbers you'll see that it is not that simple. Whites are still the majority and Blacks are the minority. Let's add in Asians, Latinos, and Native Americans. Let's put all on an equal playing field. Then add up the numbers. You will see there is a discrepancy.
Now, if you want to know more about why I say Black Lives Matter then ask me. Don't assume and don't get offended. You don't know my past so you can't begin to understand why I say what I do.
Now, I agree Blue Lives Matter. I also think if someone said Red Lives Matter (firefighters' perhaps?) or Green Lives Matter (EMS providers?) I'd agree with that too. Blue Lives Matter too. It's sad that officers are being targeted. I told an officer that their job was to protect and serve which led to them telling me they are supposed to serve but not protect. If that is how officers feel then how is that supposed to make me as a citizen feel? I was taught you are supposed to serve and protect me. Police cars say that. Now, you tell me you aren't supposed to protect me? I don't condone a police officer being shot and I don't condone anyone else being shot. I think there are other ways to handle things.
Lately, the country is in turmoil and there is very little positive we see. Yea, if you see something on facebook go viral like the officers having a cookout and dancing with the citizens, then you feel good. The media didn't pick that up. The media didn't pick the story up of the man who helped the little blind lady cross the street. I don't even turn on the news because most of what I see and hear is negative. So much negativity weighs down on a person.
Let me leave you with one thing. I can only stay hidden for so long. I don't blend in because I'm not the majority. I don't have to tan for my skin to grow darker. I am me and I was born Black. It was not a choice. It was something bestowed upon me because they knew I could handle the honor of dealing with the challenges to come. This was given to me from the moment I came out of my mother's womb. Not everything else is that simple. Black Lives Matter. Stop the Hate and Celebrate.